Why do we avoid doing the things we want to do?
For the past 3 years I’ve been working on writing a book with my podcast co-host Allison Henrich. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done creatively.
I’ve wanted to write this book for more than 5 years. It encompasses everything that I teach about intuition and reaching your goals with flow. But I kept running into resistance. Even when life gave me all of the signs (3 psychics telling me that I needed to write the book, Allison asking me to write a book with her and connecting with our publisher easily) I still struggled with the actual writing of it.
I could brainstorm all day long, but whenever I sat down at the computer to put in the work, terror would rise up through my chest and seem to strangle my words before I could get them down. I had so much anxiety around writing. And because of this, showing up to the page felt like torture and I avoided it.
Your path is your alone
It's natural for us to compare ourselves to others. Maybe you see someone on their own path who seems to be really successful in their creative career. Maybe someone who always seems to be making more money than you or who is in a happy relationship. And you begin to beat up on yourself. You ask yourself "Why can't I get it together and find my own version of success". Maybe you've even tried to follow the tools or techniques of other people and it hasn't worked out.
I just want to remind you that your Dharma or life's path is yours and yours alone. Your view of success is yours alone. In most of the NDE's that I've read, success was not based on what they DID or achieved, but on learning the lessons that they've come to learn. Success was based on living a joyful and love-filled existence and creating the work that was calling them so they could share their uniqueness with the world.
Giving yourself permission to do what’s calling you
Most of us have grown up believing that we have to make a safe choice in order to survive. But what we don't realize is that when we choose what is actually calling us, we can thrive.
This is because just following what we should do shrinks our energy, our motivation, and our output. We become small and boring, actually! Following what lights us up, even though it may seem weird or like a long shot is what gives us energy, and motivation and makes us stand out!
Inner Child work for Creatives explained!
Your inner child is your most creative self.
Your inner child has access to all of the creativity, motivation, inspiration, intuition, and your most authentic expression. They are your key to creating your most fulfilling work with more ease, fun, and flow.
Your art is a gift
I had a couple of conversations recently that made me think. Why do we keep creating art when it’s so often not the easiest route? I made a short video about this that you can watch above.
To summarize… I think that all of us have two things that we want in life:
One of them is to uncover our most authentic self. Our what I call our core creative essence. This is who you are at your core. This is what people see when they look at your artwork because it comes through and it touches them. It's sparks, joy and connection to them. That's your essence.
What I learned during my two-week break from media
For much of this year, my mind has felt like a chaotic space. I've had trouble hearing from my intuition, my emotions have been running wild, and it's been a struggle to get in touch with my body.
So while on vacation in Los Angeles a few weeks ago, I spent a lot of quiet time at our Topanga Airbnb. Sitting on the swinging chair in the wild, sprawling, cactus garden watching the lizards and listening to the birds, I was still fighting my mind and wanting to plan my life out. But my inner voice began coming back to me.
I heard the words RADICAL ACCEPTANCE.
The problem with finding your focus too fast
What is the very first thing that you want to do when you feel stuck? You want to make a plan to get unstuck, right? That's why you hire a coach. That's why you try to find somebody outside of yourself, maybe to find some kind of a fix or formula, to find your focus, because your brain always wants to keep you safe.
Formulas are great if you want to keep doing the same thing over and over again. But we want to actually create something new based on our uniqueness.
The first step to getting unstuck.
Years ago when I was working as an illustrator, I got hired for what I thought was the best gig I'd ever had. It was the gig I'd been working towards for most of my career.
But during the job, I felt nothing but frustration, angst, stress, and annoyance. Afterward, when I actually saw the product I had worked so hard on, I felt defeated. I was supposed to feel proud and excited about this work but all I felt was annoyed and completely burnt out.
The very simple equation to feeling good.
Have you ever noticed that when you are doing things you love, working towards a goal that is meaningful, or contributing to the greater good it just FEELS AMAZING? And when you are neglecting yourself, your dreams, or working towards something that is not meaningful to you, you feel bad? You may even get depressed, angry, or blame yourself.
Our biology has evolved to SHOW US HOW TO FEEL GOOD.
The FLOW research also backs this up.
Why we abandon ourselves
From a very very young age, I felt like everyone around me wanted me to be what THEY wanted. Which left very little room for me to discover WHO I ACTUALLY WAS and EXPRESS THAT. I was a natural people pleaser so I took on all of these other identities and buried my ESSENCE somewhere deep inside of me.
Then for most of my life, I would do things to ABANDON MYSELF. Like going to a party when I wanted to stay home or doing things for others when I really needed to take care of myself.
Your Core Creative Essence
Who were you before you were taught that how you NATURALLY express yourself is NOT ENOUGH or TOO MUCH?
Who was that excited, inspired, motivated little one?
How did they see the world?
What did they have to say?
This is your CREATIVE ESSENCE - it's where all of your motivation, inspiration, and creativity comes from. And it NEVER GOES AWAY. Most of us pushed down this true part of ourselves because it wasn't safe or acceptable.
Feeling Overwhelmed? Two simple questions to ask yourself this January
Having gone through major shifts with my health and business in 2021...I decided I needed a major overhaul at the beginning of this year. I was feeling overwhelmed by thinking about creating goals or intentions because I couldn't get clear on what I needed at a deeper level. My mind kept going around and around keeping me in what I felt like I "should" do.
On being SEEN
Allowing yourself to be seen for who you actually are is one of the hardest journeys you’ll ever go on, but the most rewarding.
Many of us wonder why people don’t see us for who we are or our art for what it is, but we are subconsciously avoiding being seen by not sharing what we feel are our shadow sides or timidly putting ourselves out there.
But when you boldly step into who you are, you become magnetic. People are drawn to the unique essence that is inside you and they feel it in your art work.